Training Day - Update #1

I neglected to provide a progress report in the last post. Here it is:

Date: December 26, 2009
Subject: Grick
Operation: Drinky drink
Consumables: 1 Superman + 1 King Kong + 1 Crown/7 = 3 drinks
Status: Pink, upright, slightly bloated

Level 3: Attained

:)

Training Day

Grick doesn't drink - not even a little bit. A teeny tiny sip of alcohol makes him scrunch up his face like he smelled rotten eggs and beer.....well beer just makes him barf. Not pretty. However, now that we have a wedding coming up, it is likely that he will have to imbibe in some spirits on the day of the wedding (perhaps also in the days leading up to it!). This poses a dilemma - how is he to do this if one drink makes him turn the colour of a ripe cherry tomato - eyeballs included.

Well, here in steps his training team. These brave souls, recognizing the need for an intervention, have graciously taken it upon themselves to ensure that Grick is ready and able to partake in the open bar on the big day. There are five members in this elite training squad: Tank, PhD, the Corporal, Jagr and their leader - Captain. They have created a rigorous 6-month training plan that will begin during the Christmas holidays and culminate in June on the big day. The program ensures that Grick will be fully prepared to handle the rigors of an Indian wedding reception: remain upright, puke free, and remember everything the next day with no ill effects.

We should salute these courageous and selfless men who have taken time out of their busy lives and taken on this monumental task. They go into battle with only their wits and determination in order to help out a fellow brother. Let us wish them luck and pray for a swift and glorious victory!

The Gauntlet

The Odyssey

Now this may come as a shock to some people, but I really did not want to start dress shopping. I was incredibly apprehensive about the process: afraid I wouldn't find something that I liked or looked good on me. I was also wary of pulling a "Thriller" and morphing into my own special version of bridezilla. It was odd. I have never been weirded out by shopping before, but something about the wedding dress gave me the heebie jeebies. Although this could also be related to the fact that Grick totally surprised me with the proposal and it took me a couple of months to recover ;) Anyways, it was Grick who finally pushed me out the door to at least start the process. He didn't want me stressed out about the dress later on down the road and thought it best to shove me into the deep end right away.

When I first began my hunt, I scoured the Internet for any reviews of local Vancouver stores to see which ones were worth my time. There wasn't a lot out there. I wished that I had found out some information before going; it might have saved me a few excursions! As a result, I thought I would document my experiences in order to help others - offering kudoes to some stores and constructive criticism to others :) I will slowly be posting my reviews over the next few weeks, but for now I thought I'd offer some general guidelines on dress shopping.

• Try on different types of dresses. We all think we know what looks good on us or what we want to look good on us - reality is often very different. You should experiment with different silhouettes, colours, embroideries and fabrics. I won't tell you the specifics of my dress since Grick will see this - but suffice it to say that I wound up with something very different from what I expected. It's kind of like a guy, what we think we want is not actually what fits us best or what we actually end up with :)
  
  
• Take your fashionistas with you! By this I mean your girls who know your style and have a style of their own that you admire - these are the girls who should come for serious dress shopping. There really is no point in going with people who have very different ideas of what constitutes good fashion since there's not much you will agree on. Your fashion homies will be able to be straight with you on what looks good and what doesn't - and most importantly, what suits you. I mean we've all seen those girls and wondered "who let her buy that!" Don't let that be you!
  
  
• On the other side, take a big fun group for one day of play! By this I mean your mom, your aunts, cousins, friends...anyone who wants to see you play dress up :) However, do not expect to get much accomplished during an outing like this. Too many voices and too many disparate opinions will likely make you very confused and not any closer to a decision. Instead, treat this like a fun girl's day, where you will be the doll that they get to dress up. It's just nice for everyone to be included in the process.
  
  
• I know that everyone wants their mom to love their dress. We are all forever little girls in front of our mothers, wanting to please them. However, this is not always going to happen. My mother and I have very different ideas when it comes to fashion and I fully expected us to disagree when it came to the choice of dress. However, she quickly softened towards it and now loves it! Mom's just want you to be happy - so take your mom with you, ask for her opinion, respect her opinion - but buy what suits you best. You're the one who has to look at those pictures 30 years from now and you don't want regrets. Don't worry....she'll come around.
  
  
• Most of us will not trust our guy's opinion when it comes to fashion. This is wise. However, the point of the wedding is to look good for your man. Think about what he'd want to see you in and factor that in. However, do not cheat and sneakily show him photos of your dress without telling him it's your dress. If he has a negative reaction, you will have not only ruined the surprise but filled your own head with doubts. Like I said, guys don't know much about fashion and they won't be able to tell what a dress looks like on you. So just don't go there and open that can of worms.

That is a comprehensive enough list for now. Anyone else have any tips of your own? It is odd. I am getting to be such an expert on wedding stuff.....but it's such useless knowledge since I will never need it again! :)

An Epic Journey

Now that I have had a few weeks to recover from my debilitating jet lag, I figure it's time to do a brief recap of my journey! India was fantastic - as it always is :) The food, the shopping, and of course - my family. We stayed with my mother's family who rearranged their entire lives to accommodate our shopping needs for three weeks.

A worker in my uncle's fields

This "vacation" was both a sprint and a marathon. Many outfits needed to be bought and accessorized, including wedding outfits for Grick and I. It was fun and frustrating but I am happy with the results! I thought I would take this opportunity to give some tips to those who are considering going to India to do their wedding shopping. I had some guidance from my lovely cousin S who did this same trip many years ago :) I wanted to share her thoughts as well as everything that I learned.

• Wedding Outfit
  Get this first! This is by far the most important purchase you need to make and you should do it first, otherwise you may run out of time to get it sewn. Also, go lengha shopping with some semblance of a plan. If you have absolutely no idea of what you want, you will definitely get overwhelmed. Most stores have a huge inventory of stock and you can sit there for hours sifting through the choices - this can be extremely exhausting and confusing. Parameters for budget, colour or style of embroidery will keep you focused and everything will go much smoother and faster. I ended up making my purchase at Frontier Phagwara (associated with Frontier Cloth House in Vancouver). Their entire third floor is full of lenghas, in all different colours, embroideries and budgets. I would suggest this store to everyone - they are like Kleinfelds for lenghas :)
  
  
• Trousseau Shopping
  I did most of my trousseau shopping at one store in Jalandhar: Chhabra Collections. At first I was slightly wary of this: I wanted to shop around and see what else was out there. However, I quickly realized how foolish this would be. Time was of the essence and getting everything done at one store was not only more efficient, but also much more effective. Also, since it is a fixed-price store there is no haggling or negotiating required, which makes for a much less stressful shopping experience. All our shopping was done in fixed-price stores which I liked and appreciated very much!
  
  Shopping at Chhabra turned out to be a fantastic experience! They not only have superb customer service, but have three floors of clothing for all occasions and budgets. Another plus was that my aunt had shopped there before and knew the owners. In India (or anywhere), shopping where you have a connection can help things move smoother, faster, and - at times - cheaper. They would pull things for us of their own accord because they had become familiar with our tastes and style preferences - another benefit of sticking with one store! The fact that they would provide us with cold drinks, tea/coffee and food all day long has absolutely no bearing on my opinion of them :)
  
  
• Tailoring
  This can be the most frustrating part of the shopping process. Spending money on clothes can be a total waste if they are not properly tailored or finished. I cannot stress this enough but find the best tailor that you possibly can! We experimented a bit, until Chhabra recommended Shory Tailors to us. They are located in Naya Bazar: pricier than I expected to pay in India, but do fantastic, detailed, custom work. To ensure that you get your clothes finished in time, drop them off at the tailor as soon as you can and give them fake departure dates. Even with the most trusted tailor, this is a prudent move! Also, you have the option of getting your lengha sewn by your personal tailor. I did not know this and had mine done at Frontier Phagwara, since they include tailoring in the purchase price. It was not the best of experiences. Their tailor ignored my wishes and finished my lengha how he wanted. In the end, they did fix it but it would have been less stressful to go to someone I trusted, the extra cost would have been worth it. My advice - always listen to your instincts!!
  
  
• Accessories
  I am sure that everyone loves shopping for accessories and cannot wait to get started, but I would suggest that you do. This is not something that needs to be tailored or ordered, and can wait until all the time sensitive tasks are complete. Once everything is at the tailor, you should still have the dupattas from the suits and the sari's since they do not require tailoring. I would also suggest that you get your lengha dupatta sewn earlier than the rest of the outfit so that you can finish accessory shopping for that as well. We set aside one day and took everything to the store - where my aunt had a hook-up :) We did everything in batches and completed one outfit at a time - less confusion this way. It was very efficient! Now of course, I am talking about artificial jewellery. If you are in the market for gold, I would give the same advice as the wedding lengha - do it early. They need time to make the pieces!
  
  
• Achkans
  Grick's achkan and my brother's outfit were left to the last couple of days :) Not that they wasn't equally important, but they are easy to purchase and require little time commitment. All you need is the lengha dupatta, to match to a ready-made achkan. We purchased the achkan at a store across the street from Chhabra Collections. Turns out, Chhabra owns the building and we were able to get a discount through this connection! We took the achkan right away to find matching shoes and voila! We were done. Boys are so simple :)

That's it folks! It was an awesome experience :) I loved being back in India, it had been a long time and it was wonderful to see my family again. Also, the power shopping was quite epic! I have never shopped like that here at home and it is an experience that I am unlikely to repeat - especially if Grick has anything to say about it!

And Action!

Another vendor down! Today, I put the deposit down on our videographer, Marliss Productions. After much debate, we decided to have a videographer, so we could capture everybody's winning smiles, and speeches, and anything else we might have missed while we're busy being worshipped. :)

A couple more things to book, and we have a wedding!

This is a short blog, since Snoopy is still gone, and I'm busy trying to hold down the fort. You can check out our other vendors which we listed on the sidebar. Enjoy!

Grick

Adieu! Adieu! To You and You and You!

Hi all....I just wanted to write a quick post before I fly to India tomorrow. It's going to be a whirlwind trip with much shopping to be done! I will be gone for a little over three weeks so there will likely be no blog posts in the interim. I will try to get Grick to step up.....but his beard may interfere with his typing skills :)

I won't be blogging, but I will be on email so feel free to drop me a line :)

Toodles!

The Wedding - Part Two

So we left our fictional couple sitting beside each other in the prayer hall....waiting for the wedding ceremony to begin. Let's join them!

Anand Karaj
Once the couple are comfortably sitting, the Anand Karaj can begin. Anand Karaj is the name for Sikh weddings - roughly translating to "ceremony of bliss."

At this point priest will come over to the couple and ask them and their parents to rise for a brief prayer. Once the prayer is complete, the bride, groom, their parents kneel, touch their head to the ground and sit down. The wedding guests do not participate in this. Following this, is the pullah ceremony. The pullah refers to the scarf that is held by the groom and draped over his right shoulder. The bride's father takes the end that is draped and places it in his daughter's hands - signifying their joining. Basically, it's the Indian equivalent of "giving the bride away." At my wedding, my brother will be fulfilling this role :) At this point, guests may note a mass exodus of young men towards the the holy book aka Guru Granth Sahib. They all encircle the priest who is reading and sit down on the ground. Do not be alarmed! This is perfectly normal. These young men are the bride's brothers or cousins. They have a role to play in the next part of the ceremony, which are the lavan.

The lavan are the main part of the Anand Karaj. This is when the bride and groom walk four times around the Guru Granth Sahib, completing the marriage ceremony. Each laav commences when the priests begin to sing hymns. The bride and groom kneel and touch their head to the ground, and then stand up. The groom passes the bride in front and walks to the left while the bride's helper assists her to follow. The helper is any close female relative who is there to help the bride through the ceremony. The helper passes the bride to the first brother. Each brother puts his arm around the bride and walks with her, passing her to each brother in turn. Upon completion of each laav, the bride and groom stand at the front and wait for the priests to finish the hymn. They again, kneel, touch their head to the ground and sit - waiting for the next laav. Once all four lavan are complete, the couple is married!

Following the ceremony, there is one more prayer during which everyone stands and participates. Once this is complete, the ceremony is over. The priests will then walk around distributing prasad to everyone. The prasad will be a a sweet pudding type mixture made of semolina, sugar, and butter. It is given out at temples during all functions and is meant as a gift from the gurus to the devotees. Please take it and eat it respectfully. However, be warned that it is buttery and we will be passing out napkins! :) While this is all happening, guests at the wedding will start to come up to the couple to give them money. I swear I am not making this up! The bride's parents begin this process. They stand behind the couple and drop money into their laps, while posing for pictures. Then one by one, family members and friends from both sides line-up to give the couple money. There is no mandatory participation for this but I just wanted to mention it, in case people were wondering what was happening.

That's it! The wedding is complete. At this point, the couple will go take photos while the guests can go downstairs and have a freshly prepared feast! I hope you enjoy :)