Ladies Night

What is a Ladies Party?
I can't tell you how many times I have been asked that question. What do we do there? Do I bring anything? Do I do anything? What's with the funny name? :)

A Ladies Party is a party thrown by the bride's side of the family for close female relatives and friends. It is usually held in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Traditionally, for most Indian weddings, there are only a limited number of people who go to the reception from the bride's side. Receptions are generally thrown by and for the groom's side of the family. The ladies party tradition grew out of a desire to have some sort of a party for the bride's side. It is basically another opportunity to eat and dance......and to add to the pre-wedding extravaganzas known as Punjabi Weddings :)

What to Expect?
Food. Entertainment. Food. Dancing. That's pretty much the gist of it. The evening starts with appetizers and is followed by some sort of entertainment. Either the family would do a dance or they would hire a "dance team." I have no idea what is going to happen although I have heard "whispers" of a surprise. Yeah - my family cannot keep a secret :) The party would also feature the Jago Ceremony. This would kick off the dance party portion of the night. Once the dancing begins, dinner is served. Leaving the guests with a difficult dilemma - butter chicken or boogie down? What would you choose? :)


What Do I Wear?
It's a party - wear party clothes. This is not a religious event so you don't need to worry about covering your head or making sure your skirt length is just so. Just come festively attired - it's an Indian party, so blinginess is not frowned upon. And no, you do not have to wear Indian clothes. You can if you want, but there is no requirement or expectation of that!

What Do I Bring?
Just yourself, a smile and a desire to partay!

Hope to see you all there!

P.S. - Apologies to all the male guests, including Grick. This event is the only one where butter chicken will be served throughout the entire wedding.

Punjabi Pre-Wedding Traditions

I thought I would take an opportunity to briefly explain some of the customs and rituals behind my wedding. Every region of India has their own specific rituals which may differ based on geography, language, and religion. My background is Punjabi Sikh and the ceremonies at my wedding will reflect that.

• Ladies Party
  Ladies party is not necessarily a traditional event. Generally, most Punjabi weddings and their associated events occur in the home. All guests come to the bride's house for the jago, mehndi, maiyan, and choorah ceremonies. However, it is not always feasible and comfortable to accommodate a large number of guests in your house. Ladies parties evolved from that need. They are typically done in some type of banquet hall or restaurant which can comfortably entertain all of the guests. The format of the parties depends on the individual families. Some choose to have all of the events in the hall including the maiyan, choorah, and jago. Others will not. For my ladies party, we will be doing the jago ceremony in the hall with dinner and dancing to follow. I hope you enjoy!
  


• Jago
  The jago ceremony heralds the arrival of the bride or groom's maternal family to the wedding house. In India, the bride or groom would typically be living with their family at their father's village while their mother's family would be in a different village. The maternal family would arrive at their father's home a few days before the wedding while carrying the jago's and singing. The jago's themselves are colourfully decorated steel jugs with candles in them. This is meant to alert everyone to their arrival in the loudest, and most boisterous way possible. It is a joyous ceremony filled with singing and dancing. For my wedding, the jago ceremony will be done at the Ladies Party.
  

• Mehndi
  The mehndi ceremony takes place at the brides residence before the wedding. Typically this occurs two to three days before the wedding so that the colour has time to properly darken and be at its most vibrant in time for the wedding. Either family or a professional mehndi artist applies the dark green mehndi paste to the brides hands and feet, in an intricate pattern. It dries slowly over the next few hours until it begins to flake off and the pattern is visible on the skin - the colour will continue to darken. Some brides even keep it on overnight to ensure that the colour will be at its darkest. The ceremony is not limited to the bride - other female friends and relatives also participate and apply the mehndi to their hands. There are superstitions that the more the colour darkens and longer it stays on, the more your mother-in-law will love you - but I don't anticipate that being a problem :)
  


• Maiyan
  The maiyan ceremony takes place twice in the days leading up to the wedding. The first one must take place before noon and the second is typically done the night before the wedding and is a little more involved. During the maiyan, the bride and groom are rubbed with a paste called vatna. This consists of turmeric powder, chick pea flour and mustard oil. The families rub the paste on the bride and groom and is meant to cleanse them before the wedding day. Also, a red thread is tied around the bride and groom's wrists during the maiyan. This is called the gana and is meant to protect them from bad luck. During the ceremony, the bride and groom sit on a red board called a patri and are sheltered by a red canopy held by the family. This is the basic ceremony that takes place on both days. The maiyan ceremony on the night before the wedding also includes one final ritual for the bride called the choorah. This is discussed in the next section.
  


• Choorah
  Finally, the choorah ceremony is performed at the maiyan on the night before the wedding at the bride's home. The bride's maternal family has an important role in this event. They bring cash, clothes and jewellery for the bride, which is referred to as the nanki-shak. After this presentation, the maternal uncles place the bride's wedding bangles and kaliras on her wrists while the women sing songs. The kaliras are gold ornaments hung from the wrists while choorah refers to the red & white wedding bangles, which are traditionally made of ivory. However, I think I'll go the green route and get some nice, glittery, manufactured ones!!
  

Well, that covers the major stuff. It looks like a lot of things to do....but Indian weddings are like well oiled machines. Everything happens as it should and, usually, everyone has a blast! I hope you will enjoy it :)