I have never been weirded out by shopping before, but something about the wedding dress gave me the heebie jeebies. Although this could also be related to the fact that Grick totally surprised me with the proposal and it took me a couple of months to recover ;) Anyways, it was Grick who finally pushed me out the door to at least start the process. He didn't want me stressed out about the dress later on down the road and thought it best to shove me into the deep end right away.
A worker in my uncle's fields
This "vacation" was both a sprint and a marathon. Many outfits needed to be bought and accessorized, including wedding outfits for Grick and I. It was fun and frustrating but I am happy with the results! I thought I would take this opportunity to give some tips to those who are considering going to India to do their wedding shopping. I had some guidance from my lovely cousin S who did this same trip many years ago :) I wanted to share her thoughts as well as everything that I learned.
Following this, is the pullah ceremony. The pullah refers to the scarf that is held by the groom and draped over his right shoulder. The bride's father takes the end that is draped and places it in his daughter's hands - signifying their joining. Basically, it's the Indian equivalent of "giving the bride away." At my wedding, my brother will be fulfilling this role :) At this point, guests may note a mass exodus of young men towards the the holy book aka Guru Granth Sahib. They all encircle the priest who is reading and sit down on the ground. Do not be alarmed! This is perfectly normal. These young men are the bride's brothers or cousins. They have a role to play in the next part of the ceremony, which are the lavan.
The bride and groom kneel and touch their head to the ground, and then stand up. The groom passes the bride in front and walks to the left while the bride's helper assists her to follow. The helper is any close female relative who is there to help the bride through the ceremony. The helper passes the bride to the first brother. Each brother puts his arm around the bride and walks with her, passing her to each brother in turn. Upon completion of each laav, the bride and groom stand at the front and wait for the priests to finish the hymn. They again, kneel, touch their head to the ground and sit - waiting for the next laav. Once all four lavan are complete, the couple is married!
It is given out at temples during all functions and is meant as a gift from the gurus to the devotees. Please take it and eat it respectfully. However, be warned that it is buttery and we will be passing out napkins! :) While this is all happening, guests at the wedding will start to come up to the couple to give them money. I swear I am not making this up! The bride's parents begin this process. They stand behind the couple and drop money into their laps, while posing for pictures. Then one by one, family members and friends from both sides line-up to give the couple money. There is no mandatory participation for this but I just wanted to mention it, in case people were wondering what was happening.
Don't be alarmed if you hear that term instead of temple - they are referring to the same place. This is a photo of the actual temple where our wedding ceremony will take place! :) Also, a few people have asked what is appropriate attire. Firstly, please make sure you have something to cover your head; this is required in a temple. We will be handing out small square headscarves to both families before the wedding, so please remember to bring yours. If you forget, fret not! 
There is a supply of headscarves at the temple which are washed daily, so please feel free to use them. It's similar the one worn in the middle of the photo on the left (don't worry, he won't be at the wedding!) Women sometimes use scarves instead of the headscarf which is perfectly acceptable. Hats are frowned upon. In terms of clothing, I would say, use your judgment but avoid short skirts, strapless tops, and anything else too skin baring. Just keep in mind, that you are going to a religious ceremony and will be sitting on the ground - so dress accordingly!
Grick's family will arrive (on time I am sure!) and the two families will stand in the courtyard for a brief prayer, prior to the milni ceremony taking place. Milni simply means "meeting" and this is an opportunity for both families to meet. Since most marriages in India used to be arranged, this was usually the first opportunity for all members of both families to see each other. Of course this is usually not the case anymore, but the ceremony is still a lovely way to greet everyone and welcome them into each others' family. Usually the two groups stand facing each other (in a dance-off formation) and the equivalent relatives meet in the middle for a handshake and a hug. For example, the two fathers would meet, followed by two paternal grandfathers, two maternal grandfathers, brothers, uncles etc. Once this is complete, everyone will go into the temple for refreshments.
There is no minimum donation - usually most people just drop a coin. Once you have done this, kneel down, touch your head to the ground and you are done. You can walk to the right (if you are a man) or left (if you are a woman) and have a seat anywhere. The men and women sitting on different sides is not a religious edict - it is simply a cultural preference that has evolved over many years. At some point, the groom and his family will enter and do the same process. They will also sit off to either the right or left side. Once it is time for the ceremony to start, the priest will motion for the groom to come sit at the front. At this point, the bride and her family will enter. Once everyone is seated, the wedding can begin!
The jago's themselves are colourfully decorated steel jugs with candles in them. This is meant to alert everyone to their arrival in the loudest, and most boisterous way possible. It is a joyous ceremony filled with singing and dancing. For my wedding, the jago ceremony will be done at the Ladies Party.
Either family or a professional mehndi artist applies the dark green mehndi paste to the brides hands and feet, in an intricate pattern. It dries slowly over the next few hours until it begins to flake off and the pattern is visible on the skin - the colour will continue to darken. Some brides even keep it on overnight to ensure that the colour will be at its darkest. The ceremony is not limited to the bride - other female friends and relatives also participate and apply the mehndi to their hands. There are superstitions that the more the colour darkens and longer it stays on, the more your mother-in-law will love you - but I don't anticipate that being a problem :)
During the maiyan, the bride and groom are rubbed with a paste called vatna. This consists of turmeric powder, chick pea flour and mustard oil. The families rub the paste on the bride and groom and is meant to cleanse them before the wedding day. Also, a red thread is tied around the bride and groom's wrists during the maiyan. This is called the gana and is meant to protect them from bad luck. During the ceremony, the bride and groom sit on a red board called a patri and are sheltered by a red canopy held by the family. This is the basic ceremony that takes place on both days. The maiyan ceremony on the night before the wedding also includes one final ritual for the bride called the choorah. This is discussed in the next section.
They bring cash, clothes and jewellery for the bride, which is referred to as the nanki-shak. After this presentation, the maternal uncles place the bride's wedding bangles and kaliras on her wrists while the women sing songs. The kaliras are gold ornaments hung from the wrists while choorah refers to the red & white wedding bangles, which are traditionally made of ivory. However, I think I'll go the green route and get some nice, glittery, manufactured ones!!
