So I was talking to a friend of mine about the blog. She mentioned that she was grateful for the last post. She now felt prepared and more aware of what would be going on during the wedding and would not be as lost. I had to point out that the post was not referring to the wedding at all! In fact, all those events happen before the wedding and that I would be covering the wedding in separate posts. Well, needless to say that she looked a little freaked at everything she'd have to remember :) Well, fear not my friends....I am here to educate, clarify and comfort! Don't worry if you don't remember every little detail....you will be cared for and guided throughout all the festivities. We leave no man or woman behind!
I want to clarify a couple of things before I begin. Our Indian ceremony will be a Sikh ceremony, which will take place in a Sikh temple. For Sikh's, our houses of worship are called Gurdwaras, which means "doorway to the guru."
Don't be alarmed if you hear that term instead of temple - they are referring to the same place. This is a photo of the actual temple where our wedding ceremony will take place! :) Also, a few people have asked what is appropriate attire. Firstly, please make sure you have something to cover your head; this is required in a temple. We will be handing out small square headscarves to both families before the wedding, so please remember to bring yours. If you forget, fret not!
There is a supply of headscarves at the temple which are washed daily, so please feel free to use them. It's similar the one worn in the middle of the photo on the left (don't worry, he won't be at the wedding!) Women sometimes use scarves instead of the headscarf which is perfectly acceptable. Hats are frowned upon. In terms of clothing, I would say, use your judgment but avoid short skirts, strapless tops, and anything else too skin baring. Just keep in mind, that you are going to a religious ceremony and will be sitting on the ground - so dress accordingly!
MilniIn the morning, my family will arrive at the temple early. We are supposed to be there to greet the groom's family once they arrive. This hearkens back to weddings in India, where weddings typically occurred in the bride's home.
Grick's family will arrive (on time I am sure!) and the two families will stand in the courtyard for a brief prayer, prior to the milni ceremony taking place. Milni simply means "meeting" and this is an opportunity for both families to meet. Since most marriages in India used to be arranged, this was usually the first opportunity for all members of both families to see each other. Of course this is usually not the case anymore, but the ceremony is still a lovely way to greet everyone and welcome them into each others' family. Usually the two groups stand facing each other (in a dance-off formation) and the equivalent relatives meet in the middle for a handshake and a hug. For example, the two fathers would meet, followed by two paternal grandfathers, two maternal grandfathers, brothers, uncles etc. Once this is complete, everyone will go into the temple for refreshments.
BreakfastFollowing the milni, breakfast will be served inside the temple. This is for both sides of the family and will consist of tea, juice, sweets, pastries, fruit, and pakoras. I am sure I am forgetting something, but the gist is that there will be tons of food - so please chow down!
Entering the Prayer HallFollowing breakfast, everyone should quickly head upstairs to the prayer hall. Once you get upstairs, there will be an small room where you can remove your shoes prior to entering the prayer hall - absolutely no shoes are permitted in the prayer hall. Also, your head must be covered prior to entering the prayer hall.
Once you enter, walk down the aisle to the front where you will kneel and show respect. You will see the prayer book and priest at the back, with a small rectangular chest at the front. This is where you submit your offering.
There is no minimum donation - usually most people just drop a coin. Once you have done this, kneel down, touch your head to the ground and you are done. You can walk to the right (if you are a man) or left (if you are a woman) and have a seat anywhere. The men and women sitting on different sides is not a religious edict - it is simply a cultural preference that has evolved over many years. At some point, the groom and his family will enter and do the same process. They will also sit off to either the right or left side. Once it is time for the ceremony to start, the priest will motion for the groom to come sit at the front. At this point, the bride and her family will enter. Once everyone is seated, the wedding can begin!
In an effort to make these posts digestible, I'll cover the actual ceremony in a different post. I don't want to make these too lengthy and alienate my fragile readership ! :)
